Dammit, Cas!
by Julliet Salvatore
Summary: Cas is no longer answering Dean's calls, just talks with Sam and is avoiding the older Winchester as hard as he can. Dean gets irritated; why couldn't the angel just answer him? They think they can control everything. They just don't know that the best things in life can be stupidly uncontrolled. My first fluffy Destiel, ooh the emotions! hope you enjoy it!


_Disclaimer: _The TV serie Supernatural does not belongs to me.

"Dammit Cas!" Dean shouted, throwing his cellphone in the table. "Just answer me, you son of a bitch. Just answer me once." The cellphone started playing Castiel's voicemail, the voice of the angel echoing through the hall. Dean reached back his cell, just to turn it off. "What, you prefer Sam now?" he put his phone in the desk, and walked to pick a beer in the freezer.

"Just because I have this goddam mark on my arm, it means you can't stand being on my side? You know that I make this mark just to get us out of one problem we're dealing with, right? Or you think that Crowley is now my 'best friend' and I did this just for fun?" The hunter opens the beer, taking a long gulp from it. The sweet but acidic taste went down his throat. He knew mumbling things to the air was worthless, but he needed to take this weight from his chest. Sam was out, he had the bunker all for him, and he was worried with the angel. Why couldn't he just answer the damn phone back?

Dean finished the beer and threw it in the trash. "Just answer me, Cas."

"I have a reason not to answer you, Dean."

Dean turned, to see the angel standing some feet away from him, the same way he saw him for the last time. Dean straightened himself, and looked directly in the angel's blue eyes. The anger he was feeling now was melting down to turn into relief, but his pride told him to still be in the position of being mad with Castiel.

"Tell me, then" Dean picked a chair, sat and crossed his arms. "Tell me why are you ignoring my calls, why are you just answering Sam, why are you avoiding me."

Cas felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. He didn't know Dean was so alone. He stared to the broken man right in front of him with admiration; how can someone be so broken but still fight for the world? How Dean can still fight for him?

New feelings appeared in Cas' mind, feelings he never wondered he'd feel it. The angel was nervous and anxious; he was afraid of these new sensations. He didn't know what it meant and how he could say it to the hunter.

The seconds of staring became minutes. Cas was lost in his thoughts, trying to find a way to explain his feelings, while Dean was observing the angel's movements. Cas was still, but Dean could sense his mind traveling miles away from there.

"I don't have all day, you know" Dean said. Cas looked confused. "But it's night." Dean rolled his eyes but gave a faint smile. This is the angel he knew. "It's a way of saying that I don't want to wait anymore, Cas. Do you have a answer?"

"Yes, I do" Cas replied. The angel breathed slowly, knowing he couldn't escape from it anymore. "I have my reasons, Dean."

"What the hell are these reasons? Is it because of this stupid mark in my arm?"

"No. Yes. Partially."

Dean looked intrigued to the angel. "What?"

"Dean, I– I can't hold this anymore. I've been trying to hold it away, because I was afraid of what it might mean, but I can't hold it anymore."

"Spill it out, then." Dean answered.

"Dean, I'm– I'm" Sentences and emotions were dancing in Castiel's mind. "I'm afraid. I've never felt this before. I don't know exactly what it means. This is a human feeling, and I don't know how to handle this." Dean opened his mouth to say something, but Castiel interrupted, "no, let me finish. I've been away because of you, Dean. I'm not answering you, I'm avoiding you because I couldn't be near you."

Dean felt like Castiel slapped him. No, a slap wouldn't hurt like this. But Castiel didn't give time for him to reply: "I can't stay near you, Dean. You know why? Because every time I came to help you two, I always get distracted with your pain. I can sense your pain; I can sense you're broken. And it breaks me, too. I can't stand being near you because every time I get near you I feel this urge of taking care of you. I feel I need to make you feel happy, I need to show you not everything in this world is messed up.

"But I'm afraid of this sensation, because I've never felt this way. I don't know what this is. But every time I see you, I want to make everything in my reach to show you that I'm here for you."

Dean was speechless. All the feelings he needed to hide away some years ago rushed again in his guts. It was the first time he didn't know how to handle this situation; he always knew to handle girls, but this was a whole type of new.

"Cas…" Dean got up. "Do… Do you like me?" The words came out of Dean's mouth before he could stop it.

"Of course I like you" Cas replied, looking a bit confused.

"No, but…" Dean didn't know how to say. All the things he had in his mind vanished. He felt like a teenager again. "More than a friend. Do you like as more than a friend?"

"I think I do" Cas replied. "I think I love you Dean, and I'm afraid of this."

Dean walked slowly towards the angel; every step he took was a moment of apprehension for the angel. He didn't know what the hunter was going to do.

Dean was inches away from Cas' face. The hunter didn't know how to handle this feelings; he never thought he would kiss some guy before. Dean joined his forehead with Cas', both looking at each other's eyes. Dean was too afraid of doing something further; he didn't know how to react.

"Is this the part where I need to kiss you?" Cas almost whispered. Dean laughed; he was really in love with an innocent angel. The hunter placed his hands in Cas' shoulders, but he approached him even more, joining his noses.

"If you really want, yes" Dean finally said.

Castiel said nothing. He ended with the minimum space between his and the hunter's lips. It was just a junction of the lips, because the angel was afraid and Dean didn't want to do anything that the angel did not want. The sense of fear inside Castiel melted away, giving space to warmth, good sensation that he wanted to taste more.

Even not wanting to, Dean separated himself from Castiel's lips. They stare at each other for a few seconds, before Dean pulled Cas to a tight hug.

"I think love you, Dean," Cas repeated. Dean laughed.

"I think I love you too, you stupid little angel."

Cas broke the hug. "Why did you call me stupid?" Dean laughed more; the day couldn't be better.

"It's an expression to show how much I was worried with you, Cas."

"Oh. So, you're stupid too."

Dean laughed a bit more, and Cas didn't even tried to figure out more; he was satisfied making the hunter laugh. "Yeah Cas, I think I'm stupid too."


End file.
